For many years the little blonde boy in the photo was relentless in his requests for me to let him dye his hair black. When I didn’t cave in he tried negotiating a half black / half blonde compromise. His quest was to blend in, not stand out in a country not known for being multi-cultural. In kindergarden when he first started with this desire, the reasons behind it was surprising to me, having grown up in Canada where racial differences are taken for granted. When he was taunted in the schoolyard about being a gringo (even if he’s not) I was surprised by the narrowness of the attitude amongst the educated and felt sorry for the child who was being taught this by his parents.
But, J’s sunny disposition prevailed and now he’s an adolescent who has learned some valuable lessons that he can take into adulthood. He learned graciousness, when a passerby would reach a hand out and touch his hair, an act considered to bring good luck. He acquired the confidence that he could make solid, good friends because of how he is. He has built empathy for others knowing what it feels like to be stared at for something as small as a different hair colour. He attained an insider’s view on how to handle a bully. He learned his mother was right when she told him that someday he would enjoy his differences without having to work at it with piercing and tattooing. He learned teenage girls like boys with blonde curly hair.
Now he just has to learn the teenage angst of pimples and awkwardness will pass and that each courageous step he takes into life, is a good one.
